Duh, Duh, Duh QUEST!
by This was a dark time
Summary: Utter crack, possibly makes no sense. References to HP and AVPM. Written for my amusement, History grade, and to make someone smile. So, basically it's about three guys and a dragon going on a quest to retrieve the snitch for a Quidditch match. ENJOY!


**A/N: Okay, so I'm cleaning out my Documents on my computer when I find **_**this **_**little ficlet. I didn't even acknowledge it at first until it was the last thing up. I wrote this roughly a half a year ago for, get this, a creative writing project in my history class.  
>Note the title of the story.<br>So, I've had this typed up for easily seven to ten months. I was debating whether to post it, considering it's mostly crack and not that well written, random, and includes several references to Harry Potter and A Very Potter Musical, along with Merlin.  
>Please, don't take these characters seriously. I didn't really have a plot in mind, but I got an A on something like this. It was so stupid and the ending is rushed, but hopefully it'll make someone smile.<strong>

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except for Xio, Knight Sir Cheese, Roger, the King, and George the lovely pink Dragon. **

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Finally! They were going on a quest!

Xio was excited, as you could read. All his short, little midget life he had wanted to go on a quest, especially with Knight Sir Cheese.

"Alright," said Roger as they started walking through a thickly wooded forest. "So, we have to find the golden snitch and return it to Dumbledore, because the King

can't keep his grasp on it for more than two seconds. That's cool." Roger rolled his eyes.

Xio nodded vigorously, eating a cheese stick. "I like Quidditch. It's somewhat violent, yet very entertaining." Xio had always liked the wizarding sport, even if he had never played it in his life. He had always been fascinated by it

Xio was about to say something, when Knight Sir Cheese screamed—from fear or from joy, Xio didn't know.

"OMG! It's a DRAGON! I'm gonna slay it!" Exclaimed Sir Knight Cheese, unsheathing his mighty sword of doom. He charged the dragon, and the scaly pink creature watched him skeptically, as if the dragon knew that Knight Sir Cheese couldn't kill a blade of grass, much less a dragon.

Roger didn't doubt his friend's ability, though. He jumped in front of him, glaring.

"Stop! He can help us!" Roger yelled, guarding the dragon, his skinny arms stretched out from his sides. "We can name him George!"

Sir Knight Cheese sighed, but accepted the proposal.

Later that night, as I, the narrator, don't want to tell of their boring and uneventful journey this first night of the quest to find the golden snitch, the guys lay in the North Woods, singing and laughing around a huge fire that George had supplied.

Speaking of the dragon, George suddenly looked up from gnawing on a large rock.

"What's up, George?" Roger asked nervously, looking up. He jumped when he saw a large lion sitting there, right in front of him. The lion held a large stone in his mouth, and Roger took it.

"Rumbleroar!" Cried Xio with delight as he tackle-hugged the large mammal. Sir Knight Cheese quickly followed, leaving Roger staring at the beast nervously.

Rumbleroar and the ecstatic knight talked gossip with the lion as Roger read the note that was inscribed on the thick, gray stone. Xio read over his shoulder.

_"Hey!" _The note said, and Roger rolled his eyes as he read on. _"It's me. The King. The awesome-ruler-almighty-supreme. Yeah, well, guess what? I forgot to warn you that the North Woods isn't safe! Hopefully you aren't there, because if you are, you're basically screwed. Screwed six times over and under, across and back and all that shiz. Screw-ed. And I would really like to play me some Quidditch soon. _

_Love, the King, you're fantastic and totally awesome royally supreme ruler of the world."_

Roger dropped the stone and Xio screamed. Roger was shaking with fear by this point. What if his special knight's training didn't cover the danger that lied in the woods? What if he had to play checkers? He hated checkers!

"Uh, guys? Look!" Shouted Knight Sir Cheese, pointing to the edge of the forest. Everyone looked over where he was pointing. Except George, for he was asleep.

Xio screamed again and Sir Knight Cheese grabbed a nearby goblet in hopes of protection.

"Knomes!" Shrieked Xio, diving behind Sir Knight Cheese. Xio started to run around in circles, and Roger stood his ground.

"Stop!" Squeaked the shortest knome. He had bright green hair and bushy eyebrows. "Dance!"

"It seems he can only speak in one-word sentences," muttered Roger, smirking. He stood next to George, who had woken up with all the commotion.

Suddenly, the knomes all started to break dance. "Win to pass!" Yelled the head knome.

Roger glanced at everyone and shrugged. He started to dance as Xio and Knight Sir Cheese started to drum on some logs.

Roger suddenly lost his balance as he danced closer to the knome leader. With a yell, he tumbled down and landed on the poor little guy. With a hiss of pain, Roger stood up, looking down at the flattened knome leader.

"You win," said the knome leader, dazed. "Go."

As the army of knomes shuffled away, carrying their fallen leader, as the guys packed up camp and started moving again. But, of course, once they hit the East Woods, they ran into another problem.

"George is hungry. He won't move until he eats." Roger explained. Sir Knight Cheese sighed, and produced a cheese stick. Xio stared, amazed.

"How did you _do_ that?" Xio asked. Sir Knight Cheese shrugged.

"Well, my name isn't Sir Knight Cheese for nothing." Sir Knight Cheese responded with a "duh" expression.

Suddenly, a sparkly blur attacked Sir Knight Cheese. It was a unicorn! With a yelp, Sir Knight Cheese tried to hold the cheese stick out of the unicorn's reach; several more unicorns came and attacked him, trying to get the cheese stick.

"Go! Finish the quest! I'll hold them off with my awesomeness!" Yelled Sir Knight Cheese bravely. Glancing at each other, the guys shrugged and started walking away. Well, Roger was walking – Xio was skipping merrily and sing an unfamiliar song in gibberish. George grabbed an apple from an apple tree, eating it happily.

They got out of the East Woods quickly, and the pedestal holding the golden snitch came into view. The guys got out their swords just as **~gasp! ~ **Merlin appeared.

"Ha, ha! You can't get past my wall of," Merlin threw his hands up, wiggling his fingers tauntingly, "fire!" A wall of fire appeared, barricading the guys from the snitch.

Several random knights appeared, trying to put out the flames. George almost sighed as he easily walked through the blazing hot wall of fire. Merlin screamed as George started to chase him away from the pedestal.

With Merlin distracted, Xio ran up and grabbed the snitch, putting it in his bag.

Roger raised an eyebrow. "Why do you have a purse?" He asked as Xio glared fiercely.

"It's not a purse! It's a satchel!" Cried Xio indignantly, holding the satchel against his thin chest protectively.

"I have one also! Very handy," shouted Merlin. "And I will get revenge!" Merlin disappeared in a puff of purple smoke before a party of unicorns could trample him.

"Knight Sir Cheese!" Cried everyone, and Knight Sir Cheese grinned.

"Come, friends! We are going now!" Knight Sir Cheese yelled, motioning to the unicorns.

Fast forward to the castle as George flew above them. As soon as they entered the castle, the King appeared. Clapping.

"Woo! Did you get the snitch? I need to beat Dumbledore today." The King clapped again when Xio pulled it out of his satchel. The King grinned, and started walking towards the massive doorway, a spring in his step as he tried to keep his grasp on the snitch.

"Nice satchel, Xio!" The King walked out, and Xio facepalmed.

Roger looked around the room. "Hey, let's have a party!" He suggested, and they smiled.

An hour later, everyone was dancing to the "Cotton Eye Joe" when the King walked in.

"Hey!" Yelled the King as the music stopped. He glared.

"Turn the music back up! I liked that song!" The King started dancing, and so did everyone else.

When the party ended, the King walked up to the boys.

"Guys, I have another quest for you." The King started. The boys nodded eagerly.

"Go find the maid. I'm not cleaning it up."

_**~END~**_

_**End Note: **_**Like I said. Utter failure, but hopefully it will have made someone smile. Knight Sir Cheese, Xio, Roger, George and the King all belong to me. If I offended anyone (I don't really know how I could've) I'm sorry. But I warned this was crack and stupid and though up in twenty minutes for the story. I hoped at least a few people enjoyed it, though I don't expect that many to read or review this…**

**Well, farewell! **


End file.
